© rewat wannasuk | dreamstime.com

Are the resumes you’ve been sending not getting a response? Are your phone calls or e-mail not getting replies? Are your attempts to leave a job that may be eliminated not making a difference?

Today’s job market is tough. It is easy to become frustrated and disappointed when you are working hard and not seeing results. It is ok to be discouraged. It is not ok to let your discouragement stand in your way.

If you are upset about your career on a daily basis, you are probably taking it personally. You are making what you believe are NO’s mean that you did something wrong. The truth is that the people on the other end of your e-mail or voice messages are just as overwhelmed as you. They have less people on their team (since employees like you are gone) and they are having trouble keeping up with all they have to do. In many cases, they are not getting back to you because they simply do not have the time to respond. Or in other words, it is not about you.

So What Can You Do To Shift Your Thinking So That You Can Be Motivated, Focused, And On Track?

1. Leave Yourself Out Of It

No response does not mean your resume was prepared incorrectly, you are too old, you don’t have the proper experience, you don’t know the right people, etc. No response means that the person you tried to contact did not get back to you. Stop making it mean more than that.

2. Acknowledge That The Responses Stopped When You Stopped

The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is they kept moving and you didn’t. It probably began innocently. You became frustrated, so you took a break. When you took a break, things started to slow down. So, you became resigned and you told yourself there was no point in trying since it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Soon, your goal was too big, too hard, or too overwhelming. Then, you stopped completely or your efforts became hollow and unproductive. Take responsibility for stopping. This is the first step to starting again.

3. Get Back Into Action

If you recognize that people are busy with other responsibilities, and they are not rejecting you personally, you can begin moving again. Just like in sales, contacting people is a numbers game. Trust that sooner or later the numbers will work in your favor. If you wait until you feel like getting back into action, you will be waiting a long time. It does not matter how you feel. Get back into action, because you promised yourself you would.

4. Stop Dealing With Your Career By Yourself

Do you want your pride to stand in the way of a career you love? I meet too many people who believe they are deficient because they cannot tackle obstacles on their own. Life is about getting results through people. It is not about overcoming challenges alone. There are people in your life who want to contribute to you. Will you find the courage to let them?

The best approach you can take is an objective one. Stop listening to the reasons that you can’t have what you want. Focus on what you want, and don’t stop until you get it.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

***Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631) 874-2877.***

© bellemedia | dreamstime.com

challenge was easier?  No one really wants things to be tough. Yes, we may know deep down that tough makes us stronger, but when we are going through a situation ourselves, easy is the choice we would make if we could.

What is your current challenge? Have you known for a long time that you should be doing something else in your career, but you have been afraid to do anything about it? Or, has something happened that has changed the way you view yourself, and you are afraid of what the new you will look like, so you’ve stopped looking? Or, do you wish that things in your career would go back to the way they were, and this wish is keeping you from moving forward or making progress?

Many people I speak to are struggling in their career and my heart goes out to them. I know they want more and want things to be different. Is there a magic pill that will save them? No. Is there a way out? Yes. It’s called hard work. But hard work is called hard for a reason. It means career transformation is not going to be easy. The good news is hard work will provide real results.

The difficult part is getting started. And once you start, you get to your goal by putting one foot in front of the other.

So How Do You Begin? Follow These 4 Steps Below:

1.  Expect To Be Uncomfortable

If you expect to be uncomfortable then you won’t be surprised when you are. And, you won’t resist it. Most times, the biggest challenge in our career is not what has happened (or is happening) but our reaction to it. How are you handling yours?

What’s wrong with being uncomfortable? Discomfort means you are being challenged and are growing. Growth is a good thing in the end, even if it hurts a bit in the beginning.

2. Embrace Your Challenge

Challenges in your career are there for a reason. The pain your challenge produces tells you that something is not working. Maybe there has been a situation that you have been avoiding, but now you can no longer avoid it. That’s a good thing. What you avoid only gets bigger. Facing what needs to be faced will bring you relief and freedom. Running will not.

Challenges give you resilience and help you become a better person. Although challenges are not fun while you are having them, the other side of your challenge is a brand new confident you. Don’t be afraid of this person. It’s who you are supposed to become.

3. Be Open

Are you attached to what happens next? Then, your journey will be harder for you. Remember that there is your plan, and then the plan that’s supposed to take place. We all would like to control the outcome. It makes us feel like we have a say. Sometimes, it’s not up to you. Let go of the ending. Maybe the outcome will surprise you. Whatever happens, trust that you will be in a better place and that good things are around the corner waiting for you.

4. Remember That Things Get Easier Over Time

What knocks you off your feet in the beginning becomes more manageable as you go through the process. Day by day, what seems overwhelming becomes less demanding and hectic over time. Get ready to find a new groove and a new routine. At times, you may not completely know where you are going, but if you move forward, the future won’t seem so scary anymore.

Slow and steady wins the race. You goal is to keep going, knowing that good things will come your way because you did. Good luck!

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

***Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631) 874-2877.***

back to work after a long stretch of not working, but are worried it might not last. Thus, their fears prevent them from performing as well as they could.

Bad things happen to the best of us. Maybe you had a job you loved and were let go. Maybe you knew your employment was going to end, or maybe it was a surprise. Maybe you are not sure who you are these days anymore because your previous job defined you. Maybe you wish things would just go back to the way they were. Maybe you hope the uncertainty will end already.  The biggest fear my clients have is how do they talk about what happened in a positive way. Especially, when they are not feeling very positive about their situation. They worry they will be judged and no one will listen to their story.

You don’t have to dread the question: “Why have you been unemployed for so long?”  Rather expect it, embrace it, and have an answer ready that makes both you and the interviewer, (Or anyone you are networking with), feel good about themselves.

You can’t change what people will ask you. You can change how you react to it. It’s not what happened that defines you or decreases your chances of securing a new position. Rather, it’s your words and how you convey your words, that make the biggest impact.

So, how do you talk about why you are unemployed in a powerful and impactful way? Follow These 3 Steps Below.

1. Stick With The Facts

Rather than get into he said/she said, gossip, blame, anger, or any other emotion you are feeling, just state what happened. You were let go. Your company reorganized. You got a new boss or division head that cut your department. Your position was given to someone else or outsourced. Your job was eliminated. Yes, there were consequences to your life as a result of that elimination, but how you feel about what happened is irrelevant. You are still able to do your job and do it well.

Does it hurt to lose a position? Yes. Does everyone need to know how hurt you are? No. There are people outside of your work life who can help you through your hurt feelings. A person you are interviewing or networking with is not one of them.

2. Talk About What You Have Been Doing Since You Were Let Go

Have you taken classes to update your skills? Talk about them. Have you been volunteering? Bring this up. Have you been job searching? Talk about your search, how you organize your day, contact list, interviews, follow-up. You’ve been busy; not sitting around. Just because you aren’t being paid to work, doesn’t mean you haven’t been working. Your full time job has been looking for a new job. This means something, so be proud, and do not be ashamed of your efforts.

3. Discuss How You Are A Better Person Or Employee Because Of What Has Happened To You

You are no longer the same person you were before being let go. You may feel at times that you are worse off, but the truth is you are better. You have strength because you are dealing with a situation that you once believed you would not be able to handle. You have courage because you get up every day and you keep looking. You have persistence because you keep following up with the same people over and over again. You have humility because you’ve had to ask for help. You have empathy because you know what it’s like to be in this situation. You have a different perspective because you know now that work is a piece of your life and not the whole pie. When you return to work, and YOU WILL RETURN TO WORK, you will be grateful for your job and be happy to be there; things you may not have felt before.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

***Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at (631) 874-2877.

@phil date | dreamstime.com

cultural differences in the workplace you will demonstrate that you are a forward-thinking employer – and you’ll reap the benefits in the long-run.

Respecting differences
People come from all walks of life. Many people commonly associate cultural differences with race or religion, yet it goes well beyond this. A cultural difference could occur when people choose to dress differently to one another, or those who have values which someone could find unusual. Cultural differences may refer to sexual orientation or even the differing lifestyles of married and single people.

In the working environment, your employees will all have cultural differences – and it’s how you, as an employer, respect these differences which will define how productive your business will be. In addition to this, if you have a diverse set of customers, demonstrating you respect cultural diversity will increase loyalty and customer retention.

Concerns
Valuing cultural diversity in the workplace will help to increase productivity, particularly with workers who may feel that they differ from the majority of your workforce in some way. The results from the majority of employee surveys clearly show that if someone feels slighted or not respected at a company because of cultural differences, or that he or she does not have support, it will cause them to feel disconnected from their job and eventually choose to leave the firm.

The benefits
There are a number of tangible benefits for employers which embrace cultural diversity. These include:

Increased innovation – a diverse workforce gives businesses a broader range of ideas and insights to draw on for decision making

Improved service – a diverse workforce will reflect the community and understand customers better

Improved recruitment outcomes – a diverse workforce leads to being seen as an employer of choice

Reduced stress and conflict – improved workplace attendance

Cost savings – a diverse workforce will lead to loyal staff and lead to savings in recruitment and training costs too

How to foster cultural diversity in the workplace

The most successful organizations focus on embedding the principles of diversity in their culture and management systems. This can be achieved by:
Making diversity a priority in your hiring process – advertise across the board and adhere to equality and diversity guidelines. Make your interview process fair – you may need to make arrangements for candidates in a wheelchair for example.

Making diversity a priority in employee training – make it part of your new staff induction and a core part of your staff handbook

Create policies that address the needs of your diverse workforce, for instance, acknowledgments of special religious or cultural holidays, flexible work arrangements, or services for people with disabilities.

Implement a system to ensure that all promotion opportunities are clearly communicated to your employees and that all qualified employees have an equal opportunity to pursue those promotions.

Create policies and a clearly defined process to address issues of discrimination or racism in your company. Let employees know that they have recourse if they are faced with these issues and will not be penalized for raising them.

Carrying out regular employee satisfaction surveys to test how happy your staff are – you can do this anonymously or face-to-face.

understand your words, but then they try to talk you out of it, or they give you a long speech about why it won’t work.

Not everyone will understand what you want to accomplish in your career. Maybe you want a new job but the people in your life tell you to forget about it and just be happy where you are. Or, you want a new career, but you are told it doesn’t make sense or you won’t make enough money. Or, you want to start a business that you have been thinking about for years, and you hear about how no one will visit your establishment.

What do you do when in your heart you know the right next move for your career, but you are not getting the support you need to reach your goal?

Follow These 3 Steps Below.

1. Let Go Of Your Need For Outside Approval

While it would be wonderful for everyone to love your career vision, this is not always possible. Sometimes people tell you something isn’t feasible, but they are not talking about you. Instead, they are talking about themselves. Maybe they were disappointed or hurt when they tried to do something in their career and because it didn’t turn out well for them, they assume the same will happen to you. Not everyone in life will understand you. Not everyone will embrace your ideas. This is only a problem if you listen to the naysayers rather than the champions. One person telling you your idea is no good can derail you even if four people earlier said they loved it.

It doesn’t matter what other people think, only what you think. If you are waiting for other people to applaud your ideas before you can implement them, you may be waiting for a long time. You may think that you need everyone to love what you are doing. While it would be nice to have approval, real approval comes from you and no one else.

2. Map Our Your Career Idea

While you may have doubts that your idea will materialize, you won’t know until you try. No one understands your idea more than you, so get your idea out of your head and down on paper. Ask yourself questions such as “What do I want?” “What do I know?” “What do I need to learn?’ As well as “Why won’t it work and why it will work?” Map out what you will do first, second, third, and so on. You can’t implement something until you can see, so starting seeing it.

3. Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

All goals are reached one step at a time. A slow and steady climb that takes you where you want to go. You take one step that leads to the next step and so on. In addition, your confidence will increase as the steps accumulate. The further you go down the road, the more clearly you will see the finish line. As your confidence grows so will the confidence of the people around you. When they see your progress, they will begin to believe in you. That’s why it’s so important to not let other views and opinions deter you from starting. Needing outside approval doesn’t have to be the main obstacle that keeps you from being happy in your career.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

___________________________________________________________________________________

***Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631

If those who are achieving great things in their careers keep using the same words over and over again, maybe they are repeating these words because they are true, or because repetition helps it become true. Maybe being successful really is simple and straightforward. You believe and then you achieve. If this is the case, is it finally time to follow their advice?

In a world that puts out a lot of negativity, it’s a challenge to think positively. But unless you do, your goals won’t happen. A negative attitude holds you back. It makes you doubt yourself and your ability to reach your goals. This can be changed if you want it to change. The flip side of thinking negative is positive. If you have a career goal in mind, one that you really want, it’s time for you to shift your thinking and your focus.

So How Do You Believe? Follow These 3 Steps Below:

1) Chose To Believe

If you don’t think that believing in your goals works, then you won’t believe. And, your goals won’t work. Without belief, the magic in your career is gone. Many of my clients want to be excited, motivated, and passionate about their careers. Belief is at the heart of this wish. When you believe in something, you feel giddy, like a child who knows that anything can and will happen. You get that pep in your step, and you have something to look forward to. Belief gives you a reason to get out of bed everyday. It fuels your fire and moves you forward in a strong and powerful way.

2) Say Your Career Goals Out Loud

When you speak something, rather confining it primarily to your thoughts, it becomes real. Many people are afraid to speak about their goals because they don’t know the outcome. You don’t get a guarantee upfront in your career. You get a feeling that something feels right and then you go after it. Usually if it feels right, it is right. Try it now. Speak your goal. How did it feel? Good, I bet. Now, who will you tell, and keep telling?

3) Achieve Your Career Goals

If you work on your goals, you will reach them. If you don’t work on your goals, you won’t. Once you believe you can achieve your goals, and you’ve said it for the whole world to hear, you are ready to act. Put one foot in front of the other and keep walking (or running) until you’ve reached your destination. This may sound too simple to be effective, but what’s wrong with simple if it works?

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

***Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631) 874-2877.***

© vuk nenezic | dreamstime.com

Are you having a tough time in your career? If the answer is yes, know that you are not alone.

Things are tough for most people. There are fewer jobs and more work for those that are employed. Workers are over-utilized and stretching themselves thin. It’s a bit crazy out there. Many people I talk to are tired and stressed out. Not ideal conditions to do your best.

But sometimes you have to ask yourself, “What is really holding me back?” Yes, for many, it’s the economy. For others, it’s their beliefs. Worries about the future and uncertainty over what will happen next. Who can blame you for holding back a bit?

But, what do you do when you are not where you want to be in your career? What do you do when you are unhappy? The “reasons” why you don’t have what you want may be valid, but are they getting you to where you want to go?

So, How Do You Not Let Your Career Excuses Get The Best Of You? Follow These 3 Steps Below.

1. Tell The Truth

You do not have what you want in your career. You can say an outside force distracted you, so it isn’t your fault. Or, you have been trying hard, and not getting anywhere. But are you any closer to your goal? Tell the truth about what has been in your way. Maybe you haven’t been ready to go after what you really want. Maybe you are afraid to try again. Maybe you are not sure which step to take next. The truth is you are uncertain about your future and uncertainly is understandable. But know that uncertainly also holds you back. You have a decision to make. You can let your fears about the future stop you or you can decide to move forward anyway.

2. Start Making Different Choices

Your career is a series of choices. Some are good and some are not so good. But either way, you are the person doing the choosing. At times it may feel like you have no choice, or someone else is making the choices for you, but the truth is you have more power over what you choose than you think you do.

If your career is not where you want it to be, it’s up to you to do something about it. The old cliché, “Good things come to those who wait,” hurts more than it helps. It gets you off the hook because you believe things will happen on their own over time. If you want something different, you have to do something different. This means making choices that are better for you.

3. Get Into Action

Maybe you don’t have what you want because you are not working towards it. You may say that you are taking action, but maybe you are really just going through the motions. Action brings results. Waiting until the right time to act does not. There is always a reason not to act. You are busy. You have other things to do. You are scared or worried that your actions will not make a difference anyway. Release this negative perspective and go after what you want. You will never know what the outcome will be until you try. Life is about falling down, and getting back up again. It’s your time to rise and shine.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

*** Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631) 874-2877.***

© werg | dreamstime.com

People come to me all the time because they are unhappy in their careers and are not sure what to do about it. They tell me the reasons they don’t have what they want; the economy, their company; some are even honest enough to blame themselves.  They are all facing tough challenges, either internal or external.

When you have an unresolved challenge in your career, it affects your whole life. You think about your challenge all the time, and in many cases, it consumes and defines you. You want more and are willing to do the work; you just don’t believe it’s possible. Or, you don’t know how to get there.

I believe that people do not move forward in their careers for two reasons. Once you overcome and push past these two items, you are ready to go.

So what are they? See them below.

1) FEAR

Everyone is afraid of something and fear is normal. Actually, fear can be a good thing, because it protects you from harm or getting into damaging situations. But, fear is negative when it paralyzes you and keeps you from taking action. For example, fear of making a mistake will keep you from trying something new. Fear of looking bad in front of friends and family will keep you from expressing your true career wishes to the people in your life. Fear of failing will keep you from succeeding.

It’s important to recognize fear for what it is; a scary thought that turns into an emotion, that in turn, stops you. If you can remember that a thought is just a thought, without judging it, then your thought does not have to keep you from moving forward anymore.

Many people believe they will act when fear goes away, but fear doesn’t disappear on its own. You eliminate fear by talking yourself through it. That’s how you push past fear, you become your own savior and tell yourself that it’s ok to be afraid, but it’s not ok to stay where you are. Fear goes away when you switch your mindset to pro-active, rather than re-active.

2) LOGISTICS

While fear covers the thinking portion of your problem, logistics is the set of steps you take to move your career forward.

Say to yourself, “here are the steps that I’m going to take” and then take them.  If you take these steps on a regular basis, you will reach your career goals. If you don’t take these steps, you won’t. If you take these steps here and there, you may reach your goals, or you may not. And, if you do, it will take a long time.

Some people stop at logistics because they don’t know what steps to take. Again, this is normal. Write down what you do know and begin there. Put these steps in your calendar and start moving forward. What you don’t know turn into a question. For example, “I don’t know who to call” becomes “who can I call that will point me in the right direction?” You are not supposed to have all the answers, so expect that you will be reaching out to people who do.

Logistics also is about taking one step a time. Small piece by small piece. You may want to rush to the finish line, but slow and steady wins the race.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!
______________________
Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives,  Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive  in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”  Deborah can be reached at http://www.surpassyourdreams.com  or at (631) 874-2877.***

© Photoeuphoria | Dreamstime.com

What’s missing is the bigger picture of where you are headed. Without a destination, you are like a leaf on a tree going where the wind takes you, rather than being the tree that stands strong despite the weather. A destination helps you weather the storm. In addition, you aren’t trapped in the day to day anymore because you know where you are headed.

Your bigger picture won’t be handed to you, you have to create it. You have to stop doing things the same old way and start doing things differently. Or, in other words, if you want something different, you have to do something different.

So… how do you stop being a victim in your career?

1) Decide To Not Be A Victim Anymore.

This may be a tough one for you. Being a victim has its benefits. As long as you are complaining about your situation, you don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t have to put yourself out there. You don’t have to change anything. You don’t have to feel pain or disappointment. Being a victim can keep you safe because as long as you are playing small and holding back, you don’t get hurt or make a mistake.

Think about how being a victim hurts you. You aren’t happy and aren’t where you want to be in your career. You look at other people and wonder why they are happy and getting all the things you want. You may ask yourself, “What am I doing wrong?” The difference is they went after what they wanted and you stopped going after what you want. Decide to go for it, and career transformation begins at that moment.

2) Act Like A Winner.

You may not feel like one yet, but you have to start somewhere. Act as if you are already a powerful force in your career and you will take your power back. Act as if you are no longer a victim.

Winners aren’t always confident when they begin their journey. All they know is that they want to get somewhere and they keep going until they get there. Do they have doubts? Of course. Do they let their doubts stop them? No.

Pretend you are the person you want to be. Keep pretending. One day you will wake up and realize you aren’t pretending anymore and you have become what you wished for.

3) Put A Plan In Place.

Deciding and acting are important, and so is taking action. You make a wish, you decide to go after it, and then you take steps towards making your wish come true.

Write down what your goal (wish) is. Then break that goal into smaller pieces, and work on one piece at a time. Will life get in the way from time to time? Yes. Do you need to keep moving forward anyway? Yes. That’s the beauty of a plan because it keeps you on track even at times when things around you go off track. A plan is vital to not being a victim anymore. It gives you things to work on and items to focus on whether you are having a bad day or a good one.

Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with executive who are looking for new career opportunities. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”

© laurin rinder | dreamstime.com

Many people believe that outside perceptions shape their career, and if others had a better view of them, they would be further along in their career.

The truth is that your own opinion of yourself has a bigger impact on your career than the opinions of others. Your inner voice determines how you act, and how you act determines whether you are successful or not. Your view of yourself determines whether you will live into your career potential or you will have life long career difficulties.

Many people I speak with don’t like themselves very much. You can’t tell from the outside. They are accomplished people. But when you dig a little deeper, you uncover the truth, the scars, the wounds, and the emotional pain. The belief that they are not good enough; that no matter what they do, or what they achieve, it will not be enough. That there is somewhere else to get to, or once they are perfect, everything will fall into place.

Would you like to like yourself more? It would help your career and take you places you’ve never been. Whether a negative self-view is temporary due to something that happened, or part of a bigger problem of career challenges, you can change it by following these three steps below.

1. Recognize the Self-Inflicted Harm of Having a Negative Self-View

The result is you are not going after what you want, you are not happy, and you are unfulfilled in your career. Begin your journey to change by being honest with yourself. Ask why am I so hard on myself? Where did this high standard come from? And, why don’t I like myself more? These are hard questions to ask, but your answers will set you free. What you keep inside festers and grows. What you release can’t hurt you anymore. Everyone has something they wish they would have done differently in their career, but if your mistakes are overshadowing your accomplishments, then your career will continue to be hard for you.

2. Decide To Like Yourself

All change begins with a decision to make that change. No one can make this decision for you. It has to come from you, not because you should, but because you want to. This is important. You may not want to change. Maybe being hard on yourself keeps you safe because you don’t have to fail or feel the pain that failure brings. Or, you may want to change, but because someone keeps pushing you, you’ve decided to stand still. Liking yourself comes from an internal place. We look to the outside to feel better about ourselves, but only you can do that for you. When you tell yourself that you will think better of yourself, you can begin to formulate a career plan that will be backed with a belief that you can do anything with confident and persistent.

3. Move Forward

Because your career spans many years, your goal at certain points is to get back on the horse after you have fallen off. It’s about giving it another try because you want to be happy, want to help others, and want to make an impact on the world. You may be afraid to move forward, but aren’t you more afraid of staying where you are? Tell yourself that you are good enough, and your accomplishments mean something. Remind yourself of your career wins, and how good they felt when you obtained them. Decide that you will feel that good again. Then, go after what you want step by step until you get there.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with executive who are looking for new career opportunities. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.”